All Soul's Day

We have heard it said in many different ways,  If we love someone, we will grieve when that love is lost.

All Souls’ Day   commemorates those who have died, and  people throughout the world    celebrate or commemorate the dead, through a beautiful variety of traditions  from placing lights on grave sites, having special meals, dancing, singing, and other ceremonies.

On the Sunday closest to November 2^nd,  in the church I attend, we gather around the communion table and our pastor leads us in a prayer,  and then we are invited to say the name out loud  of  anyone we have lost during the  year.  As I stand there with my eyes closed, I hear the different voices around me speaking the names of people, some I had known, others unfamiliar.  It always takes courage for me to add my voice saying a name, feeling self-conscious about my voice  cracking, and  revealing signs of emotion.  I think I am  slowly becoming more comfortable with myself as I age, and am less  preoccupied with, “me”, as I think   I am getting closer to allowing  myself to be more  present in the meaningful display of  love , loss, and gratitude for precious  memories .

On All Souls’ Day,  I light a candle at home and let it burn for several hours .  The act of lighting a candle and saying a prayer about the people I have loved and lost, brings me a sense of comfort. The burning candle giving off light reminds me of the message it symbolizes; God’s love and presence.

The term “Sorrowful Joy”, was used by a speaker I heard at a conference this last year.  She reminded us that if we have loved someone, when they die we will feel loss .   I know I need to hear this message  again and again.  I  need to embrace the wonderful and loving memories I  have of  people who have  died and to be  grateful to have had them in my life.   

A  pastor   once told  us how he  visualizes the people he  has loved and lost,  as being part of his congregation, and he even places them  up in the balcony.  He shared that he looks at them and feels their presence, caring, and encouragement.   I love his image.

I like the idea of having my own special thoughts of the people I have loved and  have died, and  I have painted  the picture in my mind of them  being gathered around a beautiful lake  having a wonderful and lively picnic on the shores among beautiful, tall pine trees.

When I competed in a swim meet a few months ago, I placed all of my people whom I have loved and lost, up in the stands cheering me on.

Now don’t worry about me becoming too delusional,  it’s just my way of dealing with the reality of loss in a way I can relate, and which brings me a sense of acceptance and gratitude for their love in a lighter and playful manner.

Do I need a special day to think about the people I have lost in my life?  No, but it certainly doesn’t hurt me to be reminded that nothing stays the same, that if I have loved, then I will experience grief and loss when a member of my family, a friend, or a pet, dies.  It can also serve as a reminder to live each day as fully as I can, and to try and not take my family, friends, or my cat, Miss Malcom, for granted.  To tell them often how much  I love them,  and value them being a part of my life.

Having my faith and knowing that meditation and prayer are always there for me to hold on to, brings me comfort and hope.  I do believe that God meets us where we are, and that we do grow from tears and joy.  I feel blessed.

The Buddhists reminds us:  All things are impermanent
                                             They arise and they pass away
                                                      To be in harmony with this truth
                                                                Brings great happiness

I want to share a short paragraph from a great book on spiritual advice, “A Tree Full of Angels” by Macrina Wiederkehr:

“A wonderful gift that human beings possess is the ability to feast even on memories from the past.  Precious moments from our past that were not understood or cherished at the time can be gathered up, like crumbs, for nourishment in our later years.  Thus, lost moments are found again.  They are full of grace and can heal us even now. 
They can be harvested and carried home into our barns.” 

Another beautiful message:

Jesus said:
“Do not let your hearts be troubled.  Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms. . . .
I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me
that you also may be where I am . . .
 the way and the truth and the life.”      John 14

Blessings,
Connie I. Clark