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Sunday, January 24, 2016

The "I AM"…A January writing by Catherine Craig

1/25/16

Recently, my husband, Jeff, and I had a discussion. I felt that the thoughts shared were worth writing down for others to read.

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Feeling almost a sense of grief, I stared down at my favorite eyeglasses with their cracked frames resting in my palm. Directing my words across the breakfast table to my husband, I said, “These glasses won’t ever be quite the same again, no matter how carefully we glue them.”

“You’re right,” he answered. Shaking his head and taking them from me to inspect, Jeff added, “Stress has already done its work. The gap has widened. It won’t take much to sever the band of remaining adhesive.

“You know, I think we – people – are like these spectacles,” I commented, taking a sip from my now cooled cup of tea. When he looked up, I tried to explain. “Each of us has been fractured by life’s tragedies and disappointments, broken like shattered teacups again and again.” I paused to gather my thoughts and put them into words. “I think that we as women are aware of those cracks deep down. We hold at bay those things that might open up the old wounds.”

Jeff stopped fiddling with the eyeglasses and laid them down on the table. “Men do the same. Those of us who are in touch with our feelings, that is.” 

“Okay, thanks,” I acknowledged his concession with a smile, and then suggested. “Let’s take that statement up a notch. I wonder. When it is God who heals those deep inner wounds, the damage disappears, almost as if it never existed. In comparison, we also fight to keep those wounds from resurfacing, as if they’re something to be ashamed of. ”

“I can picture that,” said my husband, taking a sip of his also now cooled cup of coffee as his brown eyes widened with understanding. “I can see that cup whole and complete.”

“Let’s develop this a bit more before we go onto something else, okay?” At his nod, I said, “God is self-sufficient, right?” He smiled, waiting. “He calls himself the “I am”  - “I am – Healer,” “I am – Provider,” “I am – your Refuge,” “I am – a very present help in time of need.” These are all examples; his names define both who he is and how he relates to us. But,” I groped for words, “what if I took the same viewpoint in reverse? “I am ____ in him,” or “I have ____ in him. Like two pieces of a puzzle,” I said and, feeling the strength of the illustration, interlocked the fingers of both my hands together, “I am complete in him. I don’t have to go to other things or people to complete me, or to be safe!"

"I think you have to be careful how you phrase that," Jeff responded. The words "I am ____" denote pride in self, but if your intent is that the emphasis is on God – not self – and that he is the source of everything, then that's a good thing."

"Yes, of course. That's what I mean." After a brief pause, I added, "Conversely, not only is embracing God's sufficiency a cure, it is also a preventative." Desiring to end our discussion and move on into the day, I said, "As I grow in my relationship with God and learn how to trust him in the circumstances of my life, I reach out to things and people that will fail me less and less. As a result, the likelihood of my being shattered by life’s let-down’s at all is diminished.”

"I agree," he affirmed. "That makes sense. You know what?”

“What?” I asked and grinned back.

“That might justify our searching for that PDF buried in the computer. Remember?” he asked. “It explains God's Names and from where they originated in the Bible. But first, before anything," he added with a smile, "I'm up for a fresh pot of coffee. You game for some tea?"

"You bet!" I answered, gently placed the injured eyeglasses in their solid case, and then snapped the lid shut.     

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